i am just a baby…

an endless summer… it feels like so…

ocean knows me well… i love her but i realized i am afraid of waves… maybe a memory from a parallel life of dying in the waves, maybe… this ocean knows, and he wraps me with a gentle current as i wish for…

soothing water no visible honu nore dolphins… a vast mountain of namolokama calling a essence of the rainbow warrior; then i thought, “i should write a book of this’, then i came home to a computer to research this… and ya… i remember, i did this before again… i am living as myself and my consciousness speaking thru sean… then, i realized how i swim around my surf board… ha! i saw myself swimming exactly like a honu who swam around him previous day… i am me in this physiology, but may be i am invisible like a jerry fish… in whatever it is, i was a honu who cuddled with him, and i was watching them as the water pulls me a bit away from them… is this how the consciousness flows in the multiple dimensions? (is this why i am such a unique speller?)

is this why totally revealing one self may not suitable way as the spirit in embodiment?

mmmm…. so much to discover.

a creature in the sea was over floating small bugs and walking on the water creature which was looks like a bug or say, spider, or maybe that was…MMMM… i do not know as i was a far… anyway, is this a magic of the native mushroom which i ate over looking the sea earlier?

of course, my kitty friends were super lovely as i walk up the stairs, and curious as i move a brunch and rocks to find a flowtive way? or say, which i have no idea what i am doing… it seems everytime when i move things, a closer to get where feel like a completion, i get this feeling of unknown / uncertainty… then, remembered, in this human mind we can not figure out a totality of the Life/Universe itself… MYSTERY is what life keep rolling, right?

even listening Xavier Rudd’s live online, i see myself in him, and my love in him, AND more love reveals herself to me, more i see we are one and one is us… ha… he is just speaking of sexuality which i miss dearly, to experience this essence as a woman… this i miss very much so…

ha… as i write this, my writing flow is slowing down… ha… yup, a writing is moving my energy to mind’s expressive state and sensuality is all in the body… ha… how i miss these expressions with other human being, cause in the nature, her vibe is nothing but the ecstacy… now i remember why i loved riding the waves… yup, it’s totally the same sensation when we become one with the wave, orgasmic vibe flush thru entire being… this is the surfing…this is the ultimate ride!

…or say, above writing is totally a man consciousness of my expression is yarning for it…

and yes, my female consciousness yarm this, too, and also she knows, [ˈekstəsē] has many waves…

listening music, eating, reading, writing, creating, crafting, gardening, even relaxing and of course, masterbating, ecstasy has many faces !

okay, i feel like a baby… my mind wants to be pretend its know all but i am even not born yet…

i will switch my gear, to listen Xavier’ and drink manao of the coconut !

life is good and i am so grateful ❤




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