8th of the Month 808

Blessed be, is what we are.

You are Loved.

And We are Me and Me is Us.

Reflections or say mirror image reflecting on each other…

Especially when I feel someone very close to me, a magnet seems work interesting way which either pull us closer or repel to pull us apart.

I love my husband, especially now I began smoke the smoke he smokes, and I watch myself becoming just like him, the way my physical body moves or even preference of show we like to watch…

Yet, we choose to live separately.

He has so much responsibility on his job, and my presence does not bring comfort he seeks, as I am wild in my own way. I can see this but I love him dearly cannot imagine life without him.

It has been ups and downs for our marriage life of 7 years, and since February of this year, he asked me to move out. He loves his home, and it is his home alone, not me in his picture, ever since I have been traveling, moving, falling madly in love, then, realize my husband is the very first one and very last one for me infinitely.

8Th of the Month, 8th of the day… yes 08/08, we choose this date, the double infinity, exchanged our vow, 8 years ago at 4:44, All Angels Aligned, only witness was my boy, Hikari (means Bright Light in Japanese), with his blessing and he is the only one captured our wedding day in memory bank into digital reality.

Great Spirit knows we are love, nothing but pure love.

And we are confirmed with body, mind, spirit, emotion, ego, soul, spirit…

Past is memories, future is mystery, here now is a gift, that is why it called Present.

More away from him, more his Presence grew inside of me.

Is this my attachment or addiction in a melancholy of lost love?

Is my presence standing against his true happiness?

Is our future aline in love or our path crossed was simply a GIFT of God?

He says, “Come home, eat, watch tv, and go sleep.” is all he wants at his home, and wake up following day, begin his day of working, helping ohana and be in a service.

I proud of him dearest Michael so much while my longing grew within me larger and larger.

A book I open daily as start of my day; “Remember Be Now Here”, a page opened this morning says;

The Next Message is where you are when you hear the next message. Whenever you are ready you will hear the next message.

The interesting thing is theres always a next message and its always available to you. Now! That’s a hard one!

The handwriting is always on the wall saying:


For Madmen only

Price of Admission

Your Mind

Always there.

Question is: Can You See it?

Love welcome all.

Fear run away.

I run away so many times, giving up my keys, unable to keep my precious belongings, keep letting go of materialistic worlds, aiming to gain something in my SPIRIT, yet now I recognize, it was all Ego’s game, took me to all wrong turns, while he was pure love, sincerely kind generous open heart and welcoming.

What’s a fuck happened?

Is there any way in to his love?

Or it was precious memories I received as a gift from the greatest man I have ever met…

Gosh I miss him, Mr. James Michael Tuttle!

I wish I was wise enough to recognize who he is as he introduced me to his co-workers calling Naoka as his WIFE on our 2nd day.

1:00pm pm 4th of August… Let miracle embrace our life